Is it almost over?

I think I've been asking myself this question for the past 3 weeks. I dont' even know where to begin but to jump right in. About three weeks ago my sweet Mila's blocked tear duct became infected. Within this time, she became the most fussiest baby ever. We had to resort to always holding her and rocking her. At this point I questioned her behavior and just assumed she was becoming spoiled. I questioned my own motherhood. I did not know how to soothe my own baby. This became an emotional wave on top of the anxiety that set in after my brief depression after the baby.

Friday - I immediately took notice to the redness under her eye and how tender it was if you touched it. So we took a visit to her peds and she was prescribed antibiotics to take orally and a topical cream for her eye.

Tuesday - Well fast forward 4 days later and we saw no progress. However, we didn't see that it was getting worse. Just not better...so the nurse at her pediatrician's office suggested we go to the ER. Now working in the medical field, I didn't want to jump the gun. I know how stupid you can look when there is really nothing a doctor can do for you. But I thought, 'Hell, this is MY baby'. So ER it is. The doc really couldn't do much as predicted besides change up our medications. He also suggested that if we didn't get any improvement within a week we should see a pediatric opthamologist. (I also want to note how FAST ER visits have become. We were in and out within 45 minutes. SCORE!)

(Progression of the infection all within one week. The last picture on the rt was at the ER)

Sunday - Legit, within 4 days, the puffy redness in the corner of her eye had escalated to full blown pus/blood filled abscess. She had become incredibly irritable and inconsolable. To the point where NO ONE could soothe her. Reality hit again and another ER trip was called for. But this time, there was clearly something that had to be done. They drained her abscess and took a culture. I don't think I've ever heard her scream and cry that hard before. Poor baby did not have a voice by the end of it all. The ER doc explained to me that because she is so young and had not had her first set of immunization shots that we needed to be admitted to the Children's Healthcare of Atlanta hospital. So they IV'd her (which is a terrible experience in itself to witness). After 2 tries they were able to get it right. The ambulance transported Mila and I downtown where Eric met us. I think I cried from this point on, nonstop.

Monday - We met with an Opthamologist who's game plan was to get the swelling down and drain most of her bubble so she would be able to see where to probe. At this point she was trying to decide to either irrigate her tear duct or put a tube in place.

Monday-Thursday - Amelia stayed in a metal cage like crib while Eric and I shared a twin size pull out couch. (This brought back my Georgia State dorming days when cuddle was so much fun. Now, not so much.) Every 2 hrs a nurse would come in to drain her eye. Throughout the day and night they aggressively gave her antibiotics through her IV to treat her infection. And within days she was back to her normal self. I almost forgot how good of baby I had. She was an angel. By now the Opthamologist decided to place a tube in her tear duct to keep it open while her infection healed.

 

Thursday - The night before we signed consent forms and met with the pre op nurses to discuss the procedure and anesthesia. It's hard to explain what Eric and I were going through. I'm so grateful for Eric in my life. When I'm at my most freaked out moment, he's able to bring me down. The bigger picture was that we were getting our daughter the care she needed to be healthy again. Bright and early they walked us the O.R. We met with her doctors and nurses that would be in the room. Went over her procedure one more time and gave our little angel a 'see ya soon' kiss. Literally within 40 minutes, she was done and back in our room. I don't think I've ever been as happy as the moment I had her back in our arms.

 

Friday- We had to stay two more nights for Amelia to be monitored after undergoing anesthesia. They also switched her IV antibiotics to an oral one that we could continue at home. On top of ALL my mommy obligations, my friend Leslie was getting married today and I was in the wedding. So you can imagine where my mind was at this point. Eric stayed with Amelia the night before while I went to the rehearsal dinner. But we made arrangements with my mom to come stay with her while Eric and I attended the wedding. The ceremony was absolutely beautiful. We left a little early to relieve my mom but most importantly be with our little girl.

Anita and I at rehearsal dinner. We were bridesmaid partners, sharing a groomsman.

 

Wedding day!

Wedding party





Saturday - Papers were signed, cords were unhooked and we were ready to go home!! I forgot what a mess we left our home so it wasn't too fun being back. Laundry, dishes, dogs,..everything needed attending to. But we were happy to be able to sleep in our beds.

Amelia is still recovering. Her eye is much much better. She is seriously the best baby ever. And Benson has been AMAZING throughout this whole situation. His teacher said she would have never known that we had something going on at home because he has been normal at school. He stayed with my parents while we were at the hospital. They're his favorite people so he had no problem sleeping over at mama and papa's house. Our first day back he whispered to Amelia "I'll always be there for you Mila". I mean commeeeonnnn'. So cute. Now that I have my little girl back, we're just trying to get back into routine AGAIN. I started back at work AGAIN. Wooo. I think it's safe to say this will be my last child. but don't mark my words ;)

Month One

Holy cow, already a whole month old!! Time flies by way too fast. I'm loving her to pieces and it has been nothing but joy to watch her grow. She has become more alert. I love staring into her gray eyes. I have so much love for this littler girl! 


Her clothes got too snug so I packed up the NB clothes and have moved her to the 0-3 month clothes. Some brands don't make that size, instead 3 months. I love picking out her clothes her the day. I was weird about having a baby girl at first but am completely in love and would not have it any other way. Girls are so so fun! And her NB diapers have gotten small as well so she is now wearing size 1. And the extra length on those definitely come in handy for those explosive poops! 


Now that she's gotten more alert and spends some time awake, I'm trying to put her on a schedule. I've got 2 weeks left of my maternity leave and I'm trying to get the timing of her feed, wake and sleep times down. She's a night owl and loves to be awake at night. She'll stay awake from a stretch of time from 11pm-2am! I can handle it now because I'm able to sleep in but it's going to be a no-no when I've got to wake up and be in Atlanta by 8am! 


I'm sad to have my maternity leave come to end but at the same time excited to get back to work. I'm ready to get into the routine of things. I think that'll help Benson as well. He's still having a hard time with sharing his parents. 

Eric's family is currently visiting from Massachusetts. They will be leaving this weekend. It's been fun to have his family with us since we don't see them often. His mom was able to come as soon Amelia was just about a week old. What a blessing, since she wasn't able to meet Benson until he was nearly 6 months. As much as we all hate goodbyes, I'm happy to have a week to myself with the baby before going back to work. 


Breastfeeding.... boy oh boy breastfeeding. It's the miracle juice. It has been a struggle to say the least. It has really played an emotional toll on me. I don't know why but this second go round with raising a child has been very hard. I am such a worry wart. I over think everything. And I really mean everything. I'm pushing through all the obstacles that come with breastfeeding for the sake of being able to give my daughter something special. I'm still uncomfortable with breastfeeding in public and I think that hinders my success with it. I'm loving the public places that provide a 'Mother's room' with a rocking chair in all for nursing. But when push comes to shove, I can always nurse in the car :)






(she's so chunky in this picture!)

3 Weeks of Amelia

My sweetest Amelia will be 3 whole weeks tomorrow. Time has flown by! And as tiring and trying as parenting can get, it's all been a worth while journey. I could stare at that little girl all day. I've fallen in love all over again. We went to the doctor yesterday for a 2 week appointment from her last visit. Not only has she surpassed gaining her birth weight back (which is what is expected) but another pound on top of that! Breast milk is doing wonders.

Breastfeeding has definitely been a feat. I am either nursing her or pumping every spare minute of the day. I don't let any go to waste! I've been freezing what extra I have so I'll have some for when I return to work. I'll be returning to work in 3 weeks. ughhhh, not looking forward to work but I am excited about having a daily routine again.

If I'm not pumping, I'm trying to catch up on some serious sleep. Too bad sleep isn't something you can stock up on. But some miracle mommy way, I'm able to function on as little as 2 hours of sleep. Amelia gets up to feed close to every 3 hours. So she's waking up twice a night. Unless I'm under some serious sleep deprivation, I usually handles nights alone. There isn't much help I can ask for with breastfeeding.

Not only did we undergo some major changes in our lives, but so did little B. He had a hard time accepting a sibling. He loves her to death but feels so left out from all the attention Amelia is receiving. He would constantly ask "Why does everyone like Amelia better than me?" or when he was one-on-one with either Eric and I he would ask "Do you like the baby better than me?" And you know that broke my heart to the fullest extent. He got really attached to my parents. Mainly because they were giving him EXTRA attention and spoiling the rotten hell out of him. So every time they left, he had a meltdown. Leading to some punishing because it's just unacceptable to act that way, leading to jealousy and him thinking we were favoring the baby. Poor little guy just thought we had it out for him.

I think what Benson was going through had a lot of play in my 'baby blues'. I had a full week of sadness. Although it's expected after delivering your baby (with all the immediate changes in hormones), I never thought I'd experience it myself. But this time around, I was feeling really down in the dumps. So much that Eric had to take time off to hangout and be home with me. I had anxiety at all times, no appetite, and the weirdest feeling of guilt. It was truly unexplainable.

I'd like to think I have pretty good maternal instincts. But for the oddest reason, I felt like I wasn't good enough to take care of my precious Amelia. 2 weeks out and I felt much much better. No more of that sad crap and happy smiles all day. Now I absolutely adore her. I think I change her outfit 5 times a day. She's my real life baby doll.

It's funny how even after Benson I still found difficulty in remembering how things were when they're this young. I conveniently forgot the tiring days of newborn weeks. But we're working it out and I'm loving my life! I love watching her wiggle around and smile in her sleep. She still does a lot of sleeping. But when she's awake and alert, she'll follow my voice. I'm melting with love.

My sweet Amelia Rose

She's here! Welcome baby Amelia Rose Choummanivong. She was born on 6/17/12 at 8:27 pm. 6lbs 6 oz and 19in. She came a littler earlier than the docs would have liked. But she passed all her preemie tests with flying colors. We were released today and are getting acclimated at home. She's less than 48 hours old and has been such an angel. We love her so much! She came on the most perfect day, Father's Day! That can only mean she will be her daddy's little girl.

I wanted to take a moment to tell you about how wonderful my labor was. I had Benson naturally and had the same expectations with this labor and delivery. I'm sure I've explained before but my thoughts on natural vs epidural derived from my mother, who had all 3 of her children naturally. My mom is the strongest woman I know and I can only hope to continue in my life doing and being half the woman she is. As the days grew closer to my due date, I was getting more and more nervous about the pain. All I could remember with Benson was how long and painful the 7hours of labor was. I had been reading/watching videos of different pain easing labor techniques and positions were. I read a book called the Buddha Mom which had some enlightening thoughts on the birthing process and how to overcome the pain with self control. The more I "prepared" myself for another natural birth, the more I was freaking myself out. I had asked Eric to make sure to give me as much support as possible to help guide me through it. I even read a google fact saying labor pain was equivalent as being burned alive!

So last I knew I was 2 cm dilated. At my last appt (36 weeks) the doctor did not check my progress and just told me it didn't really matter how far I had progressed because it would not predict when the baby would come. Saturday night I had THE WORST sleep ever. Tossing, turning and wishing to no longer be pregnant. Sunday morning, Benson and I woke up and surprised Eric with our Father's Day Gift and card. That morning, my mucus plug came out. (It's a mucus membrane that protects the amniotic sac). With Benson, my plug came out and later that night my water broke. So I only assumed things would repeat itself. We went out to lunch with my parents and came home. I wanted to rest thinking I would be spending the rest of the night having a baby. Eric had taken Benson to the pool. Around 6:30 the boys came back and I started having sharp contractions. I had originally thought they were my Braxton Hicks but thought I should time them JUST IN CASE. Within 15 minutes of starting the timing, they were 2 minutes apart!!! I told Eric I thought I was going into labor so he got in the shower. My water did not break so we assumed we had time. He wanted to eat before leaving so he decided to grill a burger. I called my mom to let her know I was in pain so she headed over with my dad. As they sat in the dining room laughing, eating dinner and enjoying each others company, I was in labor in our room. No big deal. I called the doctor to let her know and I also called the hospital so they could expect me to be there. At this point the pain was almost unbearable. I did everything I could to breath through them. My only goal was to get to the hospital.

We checked in at the hospital at 7:30pm. I know this because I had to write the time down. Although I had already pre registered, completed and signed and mailed back I still had to sign and fill out some more. So you can imagine having to take breaks to breath through my contractions to sign the freaking papers. The lady finally rolled me to my delivery room. I got to my room around 7:50-8:00. I was asked to change into a gown and give a pee sample. I tried to give a sample but instead had the urge to push! I told the nurse and she had me lay down to check my dilation...I was 9cm already. She had to call the doctor 4 times to tell her to come NOW. As soon as the doctor got there, I pushed through 3 contractions and bam, welcome baby. She was born within the next 30 minutes. Had we not left the house any sooner, I would have had her in the car. I lucked out. I am blessed to the max.

Benson has been a complete doll with her. Giving her lots of love and affection. He has been acting out but I know its for our attention. I'm excited to see what lies ahead in the Choummanivong household. So far, I've had tons of fun dressing up my little baby doll. It's so fun to have a baby girl! I'll have to post pictures when I get some time. :)

36 weeks - Any day now

I am 36 weeks today and will be welcoming our Amelia "Mila" Rose any day now. And by any day, I literally mean any second. As I type this, I am sitting at work nervously hoping my water will not break here. I have already informed all my co-workers that I refuse to have my baby in Atlanta and that if my water and/or contractions start here, SOMEONE please drive me back to Gwinnett. (and if any of you know my sarcasm, you better believe I had to add a little extra punch to make sure my message came across)

I had my 35 week visit last Monday. As of last week, Amelia is measuring 36 weeks (a week bigger, holy big baby) and I am 2 cm dilated and 80% thinned out (or effaced). I have begun the first stage of labor! So for those of you that have no idea what the heck I'm talking about, your cervix has to thin out to 100% and dilate to 10cm before all the pushing begins. And a lot of times you'll hear about women who can stay dilated at 2cm for weeks and weeks. But since I've simultaneously thinned out that much, I only have a little more to go before there's nothing to do but dilate. And from my pregnancy with Benson, I was told on a Friday that I was 2cm and by Monday my water broke and he was here! Every pregnancy is different. I can only compare from what I know. But I am told by my doctor and nurse that she will be here any day. So we are patiently waiting for her arrival. I'm so excited to meet her but so nervous for the labor part of it all. I had Benson naturally (no epidural) and I plan on doing the same with baby number 2. And that pain sucks!

We had babyshower #1 this weekend. We got a ton of great stuff. It is no lie that little girls are fun to shop for. The caaauuutest outfits ever. I will have tons of fun dressing her up. Now that we know what we did and did not use with Benson, it was easy to sort through everything and return what we know we won't use and exchange them for essential things like diapers, wipes, lotion and shampoo. Some things that people forget are the most important.

Benson has been acting up lately. He is the most well behaved child and listens so well. But these last few days have been terrible. I can't think of a better name then "cry baby". Non stop crying about everything. There is always something wrong. I can't quite figure it out but I'm going to guess that he can sense the change. With the presents and prepping I'm sure he feels he's getting neglected but we try and include him in all we can. We've even gone so far as to buying him his own big brother gifts. We have transitioned (or trying to anyways) him into sleeping in his own room. I would say we've done pretty good so far considering. He'll fall asleep in his own room but be back in our bed by 2-3am. At least it's a start. I'm hoping he'll realize how much will be going on through the night that he'll just decide to stay in his own bed. He got to see Amelia's decorated crib and said "she has the best bed" - haha Eric and I counter responded with "no way, your bed is way cooler. It's the coolest bed ever." Gotta keep the competition to a minimum starting NOW! (which I will post up pictures I promise)

I've got an appointment today and am excited to see how much my body has progressed into the first stage of labor. I'm definitely feeling the change. I'm uncomfortable all the time. So needless to say, I'm ready! We've got all our ducks in a row. The last thing left on the list is for Eric and I to spend some individual time with Benson before baby comes. I want to make sure he knows he's special. Hopefully when I say "you're the best boy in the whole world" he knows I mean it. :)

I'm giving Amelia another week. Otherwise, I will begin the process of the eviction paperwork. hahaha. Comeee on baby!

25 weeks

Baby is the size of an eggplant, weighing over a pound and half!
 
How far along? 25 weeks
Total weight gain: So far 12 lbs, right on track.
Maternity clothes? Oh yeah. And I do have to vent at how pricey those cute maternity clothes can get.
Stretch marks? Same same.
Sleep: I find myself sleeping on my back the most. I'm thinking that the pressure on my stomach is what's comforting me to continue to do so, because I'm normally a side sleeper. But after being told how bad it was for me, I'm trying my hardest to sleep on my side. And the 'getting-up-to-pee' almost every hour has begun.
Best moment this week: I had an ultrasound last Wednesday and got to see my princess again
Miss Anything? Back pain has also begun so I wish so dearly to have my back cracked. Impossible at this point.
Movement: Oh for sure. I'm keeping an eye out on what kind of schedule she's on. She's up and kicking the most at night.
Food cravings: Ehhh, anything I see really. For example, while watching GBC last night, they were eating pizza and I wanted it SO bad. Bad enough to ask Eric to go out and get me some, but of course he didn't.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope!
Gender: Yay for girls!
Labor Signs: None
Symptoms: is fat a symptom?
Belly Button in or out? in pushing out
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: Short tempered bitchy. hahaha get out of my way!
Looking forward to: Moving it along. 15 more weeks until due date.

I looked through my pictures of being pregnant with Benson and boy is there a difference. The obvious, I'm heavier. But that my belly is way bigger. I started showing earlier with this pregnancy for sure. 

 

So here I am today at 25 weeks (March 2012)

 

Here at 25 weeks in 2007 w/ Benson

And I also was so fortunate to have an ultrasound at 24 weeks with baby girl but also with Benson too! So I was able to compare their ultrasounds and there's already so many similarities and differences. I'm so excited to meet her!

 

Benson is shown on the left at 24 weeks and baby girl is on the right at 24 weeks! How cool!


I haven't been updating much. One, because I am so lazy to get dolled up to take pictures of myself and two, our lives are just so busy. By the time we get home, I'm in a rush to dinner together and Benson situated from school that bedtime creeps up on us. But I am making a big effort in trying to update more often.


Benson quote of the day: Yesterday (3/25/12) in the car on the way to watch Hunger Games, Benson tells me "Mom, did you know that people that do stuff for you are called butlers?" When I asked him who told, he said Neill from his class did. It makes me wonder what brought that up for them to talk about it. But later that night, Eric had asked for a glass of water and that I turn the tv off on my way into the bedroom from the living room. Benson just so happened to notice and asked "if I was daddy's butler" hahahaha. Little does he know ;) I just love them to pieces.

Maternity Boudoir Shoot

So this weekend my cousin came over to take the gender announcement photos but also to get some maternity boudoir shots to add to her portfolio. And call me crazy, but I feel the 'sexiest' when I'm pregnant. Such a natural, beautiful thing so I was all for it. I decorated my room to make it look as nice as I could get it and voila! My other cousin, Surita, also tagged along to do some second shooting. I've added both their work on here. But please please check them out at jphomm and suritav.

I forgot to share in the previous post about our reaction to finding out about our baby girl. Last Wednesday Eric and I both took a half day for the ultrasound but also decided we should include Benson in our wonderful experience. And before I tell you about how it went, I have to say that I had the 'maternal feeling' that I was having another boy. Compared to when I was pregnant with Benson, I feel/felt the SAME way. No morning sickness (although a wives tale, morning sickness means girl). No crazy cravings. And aside from the acne I got in my first trimester, I figured the emotional roller coaster I was cruising on was from the change in lifestyle... I now work full time and am a mother. So it's expected to have a harder pregnancy in that aspect this time around. So Eric and I planned and planned for a boy. We were going to sort through all the boy clothes and split Benson's room so 'the boys' could share. So much for that!

Ok so back to the story. We told the ultrasound technician that we wanted to record Benson's reaction for the unveiling of our baby. So after she took all the measurements she needed of baby, got some pictures, she was ready to tell us. Eric turned his camcorder on his phone on Benson's face. I was hyping Benson up with "Are you ready to find out?!" The excitement on his face was priceless so when the tech said "It's a girl!" Benson quickly went from excited to pout face and turned ALL his attention to my cell phone where he was playing some motorcross game. And you hear Eric saying "nu uh. nu uh" and you can hear me in the background "Are you sure?" Completely priceless! I would post the video but it isn't good quality. The lighting was very dim so you can't make too much of it out. But great memory nonetheless!

So baby girl it is and we're ready and can't wait. I've been getting so many ideas from Pinterest for do it yourself crafts. I've already made a couple bows and headbands for her. And it's exciting when Eric rubs my belly and asks "How are my girls?" ahhh, so sweet! I'm really starting to feel her kick around. The other night I took Eric's hand and with a little pressure, he was able to feel her kick! I got to share it with him but as soon as I put Benson's hand on my belly she had stopped. Plenty of kicks to come for the both of them to feel.

These are the headbands I've made so far. (taken on my phone so it doesn't look great) I literally spent all day Saturday on my sewing machine and online looking up tutorials and browsing around for ideas. I'm one excited mama!

My very favorite picture from the shoot. I love our expressions (we tried to make them as real as possible) and Eric and Benson did a great job. I love my little family. I'm so happy right now :)