Is this real life?

I often say to Eric, that our life feels so ridiculous sometimes, it's unreal. Just the other day, we were all in the car on the way to Benson's soccer game, nearly 45 minutes away and all of a sudden Amelia starts crying. Obviously alarming, because we make those car rides before games full of energy and have ourselves a little dance party. So I turned to ask what was wrong and with her hand over her mouth, she's screaming to go to the bathroom. And ever so slowly (or quickly) she threw up all her breakfast. Definitely one of those moments when you're seeing it happen and you are so shocked you don't move a muscle, not that there was anything I could do except offer Starbucks napkins. One thing about Amelia is you CANNOT laugh at her. Do not have a good time at her expense. And what does Benson do? He bursts into sheer hysteria. So the next 30 minutes were spent in silent agony as we made our way to the field, engulfed in what smelled like a combination of bad cheerios, bananas, and peanut butter. The lesson here is to always make sure you're near a Target. I wasn't sure how to explain to my husband how I walked into Target only to get a change of clothes and walked out $60 poorer. But their towels were on sale! Target, you get me EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Now that we're well over a month into the three kids games, a few things I've learned:

1. All babies are different. This may not be my first rodeo, but it might as well be. What worked for one baby does not work for another. At Lincoln's two week appointment, I found myself almost embarrassed and hesitated to ask our pediatrician some of the questions I had noted on my phone because I wasn't a new mom! Ha, but in all seriousness, I AM! Why are his lips white? Why does he breathe so hard? Why does he spit up so much? Is it ok if he sneezes a lot? You know what answer I got from her? As long as he's pink (and not blue) and he's gaining weight, he's fine. Eric and I have done a lot of growing in the last month since having Lincoln. We are the biggest germ freaks. It's really hard to let go of that kind of obsession. It's hard not to think about the millions of bacteria lingering around you! The other night I had dinner with some girlfriends and I get a text from Eric. It was a long, elaborate story that basically boiled down to his beard touching dog pee and Lincoln touching his beard - I'll spare the details; enter laughing with tears emoji- and him asking "Is he going to be ok?" As if I have all the answers to the universe. But I simply replied, "he's fine." I'm happy to report, he's still here.

They say your third kid, goes with the flow. "You won't even notice he's there." Oh boy do we know he's here. Maybe it's because we hold him all day and he's spoiled. Maybe. But you know what, babies grow so freaking fast. Next thing I know, he'll be in 3rd grade trying to figure out what experiment he wants to do for the science fair and embarrassed when I hug him. (mmhmm, BENSON!) So if he wants to be held all day long, so be it. These long, hard days will be distant memories one day. So for now, I'll just be pissed that my baby doesn't sleep, asking myself what I'm doing wrong!

2. They may be big kids, but they're still my babies. There was a definite shift in the dynamics in our house. Overall, Benson and Amelia did well with the transition of having a new baby. They may not come out and say it, but they needed one on one time with us to feel special and loved. Being a working mom, it's hard to take time off for school events because I'm saving my time to take off for doctors appointments. Now that I'm on maternity leave, I surprised both kids and spent time with them at their schools. They absolutely loved it! BUTTTT, I may rethink visiting them because I can't erase the sight of seeing so many coughing kids. No wonder they're sick all the time!

3. Tomorrow's a new day. There have been so many days where I wished there was a pause button I could push. Eric is so good about getting me out of my own head and telling me that we just need to "get through it." I easily forget that tomorrow is coming. I can only hope tomorrow will be better. And in many cases, it is. And children are so forgiving. They'll forgive me for screaming at them. They'll forgive me for feeding them cereal for dinner. They'll forgive me for breaking my promise on going to the park because today just isn't a good day. But lucky for them, tomorrow is a new day.

As the days pass, I'm learning more and more about how to wrangle my crazy circus. Let's be real, as crazy as life gets, I love it. Sometimes I contemplate how we're all still alive. I can't help but laugh when these ridiculously crazy things happen. (obviously after the anger subsides). This is real life, people!

Welcoming Baby Lincoln

So since my last post so much happened! Without a doubt, this pregnancy has been the most unpredictable. I couldn't have imagined the complications that came with this pregnancy. There is no doubt I would have gotten through everything without my amazing support system.

 

28 week check up - I took my glucose test to see if I had gestation diabetes. I failed the first test so I had to go back and take the dreadful 3 hour test. I ended up failing that test. I had to take a gestation diabetes education class. I was really accepting of the diagnosis. I think if I had gotten this when I was pregnant with Amelia, I wouldn't have handled it very well. I experienced a lot of anxiety when I was pregnant with Amelia and long afterwards that I tried to keep a healthy expectation this time. In the education class, I learned that gestation diabetes was no fault of my own. My body just didn't produce enough insulin. In the breakdown of my diet, I was still able to eat everything I was eating, obviously in moderation but also to snack in between meals so my sugars wouldn't drop too low. I will proudly say that I was successful, for the most part, at keeping my readings within the ideal range. I definitely allowed myself the occasional splurge, but I didn't crave too many sweets.

 

At this same check up, I discussed with my doctor some cramping I was experiencing. My doctor felt like it was too soon to be experiencing those so she ordered an ultrasound for my next appointment to measure the length of my cervix.

 

30 week check up - When I went in for my ultrasound, I could tell something was up when the mood of my ultrasound technician changed mid scan. I saw my doctor right after my ultrasound and when she saw the results, immediately had concern. The ultrasound showed that my cervix had shortened, showing that I was in preterm labor. With that, she decided to check to see if I had dilated any and what do you know! I was dilated 3cm and already 70% effaced. She admitted me into labor and delivery. This is where I spent the next 3 1/2 weeks.

 

34 weeks - I got released from the hospital! I was able to continue my bed rest at home. I made it into the safe zone but was not in the clear quite yet. I needed to make it at least another week so that baby would be bigger and healthier. From here, I had weekly check ups with my doctor.

 

36 week check up - At this point. I really couldn't believe that I was still pregnant! My doctor and I just thought for sure that the baby would be here by now. When my doctor checked me, I had made no progress! I was a little bummed because I had been working on trying to coax him out. We went on nightly walks, I ate lots of spicy foods. It felt like now that he was free to come, he decided he was comfortable!

 

37 week check up - By this time I had come to terms of letting go of the anxiety of wanting him out. I was still going on nightly walks. I had no idea when this baby would come. Every pain I would get would send my brain into overdrive thinking "this could be it!" Eric asked me every single day, "is today the day?" Some days, I really felt could be the day, but would end up being like every other day. At my appointment, I learned that I had progressed just a tiny bit more to 4cm and 90% effaced. Even still, I felt that I'd probably make it to 40 weeks like some kind of sick joke.

 

The night of my appointment, I was cooking chicken parm for the family. I had a contraction that was long and intense. I wasn't sure if this was it, but I knew I had to be prepared. Our bags were packed and we had a plan in place in the event that we were home or if it was during work hours. I went to take a shower and had Eric finish up dinner but per usual, nothing came of it.

 

That night I had a great night sleep. Something that I desperately needed. I was previously getting up several times a night to use the bathroom. The following morning, I woke up with a stomach ache around 7am. I remember questioning if I was in labor. I even google "contractions vs constipation." I went to lay back down and told Eric that I was feeling weird. Eric and the kids were up getting ready for their day. Benson got on the bus and then at 7:22am I had my first sharp contraction. I still wasn't sure if this was it. 3 minutes later I had another contraction and knew for sure that this was it! I hopped in the shower and told Eric to get ready. We knew we had a small window of time to make it to the hospital (at least that's what we kept getting warned). I didn't want to chance taking Amelia to school and then heading to the hospital so I woke up my brother Duke (he lives with us) to get her to school on time. Eric and I were out the door by 7:40am. We ended up getting stuck behind 2 buses and the normal morning traffic. My contractions were a steady 3 minutes a part, just how they were when they started. Eric likes to describe the whole car ride as one big contraction. I had phoned my doctor to let her know I was on the way. Once we pulled into the drop off area at 7:56am, Eric rushed inside to get a wheelchair. And of course they didn't have any available. I made it through a contraction and then headed inside to wait in the lobby. By my next contraction, I had the urge to PUSH! I remember my legs trembling from trying to breath through my contraction and to hold off on pushing. That is something that is incredibly hard to do. I was yelling that I had to push and that put the gears in motion. A nurse came rushing through the double doors with a wheelchair at the same time paging my doctor to meet us in the lobby. She got me into the wheelchair and pushed me to the hallway, telling me that she at least wanted to get me out of the lobby. By this point, we were so close to the room they just pushed me straight there. When we got to the room, nothing was prepped for delivery. The doctor got the tray ready as the nurse got me on the bed. Mind you, I was still going through contractions and trying not to push. He was literally ready to come out. Once I was on the bed, the doctor quickly put on gloves and with one quick push, he was here at 8:02am.

 

40 minutes total, start to finish. If that isn't a record...

 

Lincoln David 9/2/2016 8:02am, weighing a tiny 6lbs 4oz.

 

 

The very first night with Lincoln was so hard! He had spent the whole day sleeping. He spent the whole night cluster feeding. Literally all night. This was something I had never experienced with my breastfeeding journey with Amelia. We thankfully were able to get released the next day and I can happily report that my milk has finally come in and we are on a feeding schedule.

 

 

Now that we've had him for a whole week, we are finding routine in our lives again. Eric and I are still learning to balance time between all our children to meet their needs, something I'm sure will be a life long journey. The kids absolutely adore him and ask to hold him all the time. Amelia has been battling a cold so it's been a little rough for her since she doesn't quite understand how dangerous her germs are right now.

 

 

 

We're still getting to know him and it's hard not to hold him all day long. He is such a sweet baby and we love him so much. He completes our family!

 

 

 





 

Hello Third Trimester!

I decided to start blogging again. I really appreciated that I did it when I was pregnant with Amelia and afterwards. It's been so nice to look back and relive those special moments. 

I am days away from beginning my third trimester! I have been so fortunate to be 3 for 3 on having easy peasy pregnancies. I have always enjoyed being pregnant. I know that every pregnancy is different but as far as how I feel, I would say that all three pregnancies are close in comparison. I am lucky to not experience any morning sickness. I will say that I did have some moments of brief nausea at the beginning with this pregnancy but it was very short lived. 

This pregnancy has been my easiest. I have yet to have ANY cravings! That's so crazy to say but true in every sense. I have been really conscious of the choices I make when it comes to eating. I don't have an urge to eat anything sweet or even overindulge. There have been moments where I've over eaten but nothing in comparison to how I've been in the past, pregnant or not! I think that has a lot to do with how good I feel. I've only gained 11 lbs so far and that's something I am so proud of! I have a history of gaining 30+ lbs and so far (fingers crossed) I won't even come close to reaching that. 

Truthfully, our lives are so much more busier that I honestly don't "remember" that I'm pregnant. I am only reminded that I am when my round belly gets in the way of what I'm doing! I will say that I've reached the point where I'm making zombie noises with my every movement.

I had my glucose test and check up today. It really hit me with how far along I am, which only means I don't have many weeks left! I am officially considered "high risk" because I've had two pre-term deliveries (both born 4-5 weeks early). Thankfully, both my kids were born at a very healthy 6lbs and did not have any issues that they had to stay in the NICU. It came to no surprise that my OB wanted to do the 17p injections again with this pregnancy. I have a home health nurse that comes out once a week to administer a progesterone shot right in my rump! As much as I dislike them, it has helped the weeks go by. So along the way, I've discussed with my OB that, 1: I should not labor at home like I did last time. (what can I say, I'm a hippie!) My labor with Amelia, in total, was 2hrs, start to finish. She's expecting this labor to go even faster! So now our goal is to head straight to the hospital once I start having contractions and/or my water breaks. And 2: having a history of both pre-term delivery AND fast laboring is NOT an ideal combo so we are going to be vigilant with my care to try and prepare for his arrival as best as we can. I plan on taking an early maternity leave instead of working up until I have the baby like I've done in the past. Can't you tell I am trying hard not to have the baby in rush hour traffic on 85S?! I'm due back in 3 weeks at my 31 week appointment for an ultrasound to measure the length of my cervix. If my body decides to do what it's done in the past, baby boy will be here in about 7-8 weeks! INSANE!!!!

We have not done a single thing to prepare. We jokingly talk about "baby #3 getting nothing." Definitely NOT true but I think we're experienced enough now to know what's important to have and not have. We are 80% set on a name but are openly discussing choices. We are the people that everyone makes fun of (and idgaf) that wait until we see the baby to see if the name we've chosen is fitting. It's worked for us in the past and we don't plan on changing our ways! Since having Amelia, I've gotten into couponing. I've slowly built up my diaper and wipes stockpile. I don't plan to rebuy anything that we didn't already use with Amelia. Sorry buddy, you're stuck with all pink errrthang!

Now onto the updates in our household!

Amelia started preschool in January after my mom left for 4 months to Laos to visit her family. In the last 6 months since starting school, Amelia has grown by leaps and bounds. She is my independent child! She will play for hours on end, alone with her toys, lost in her own world. She sleeps on her own and is so easy to put to bed - something we've never experienced with Benson! It used to be that we had to lay with her until she fell asleep and then slowly sneak out of the bed, trying so hard not to wake her, but really always ending up falling asleep right with her! Now it's a kiss, quick back scratch, a "good-night, sweet dreams" and we're out of the room. I know she stays up talking to herself until she falls asleep, which is the most absolute precious. My favorite is on weekends when she'll wake up early and climb into our bed and fall back asleep. Once the door's closed, Eric and I don't know what to do with ourselves and all the free time we have! (Maybe that's how baby #3 came about!)

We just celebrated her FOURTH birthday! So hard to believe she's 4. She requested an alpaca birthday. It all started when my dad bought her a "cuddly alpaca" stuffed animal. For the first few weeks of getting it, she carried it everywhere. I mean everywhere. Slowly we started getting her the alpacas in other colors and her collection grew. She has a name for each one (Lemonade is the yellow one, Orange is sorbet, blue is blueberry, white with pink and blue polka dots is Cotton Candy - her all time fave and so on). So when we started talking about having a party, alpacas came up. I knew I HAD to entertain her love for them. I mean, who has an alpaca party? I searched high and low for alpaca printed things. It was really hard to put together for coordinating purposes but I did it and it was so cute. We hired a face painter and she had a blast being the center of attention. She just started gymnastics and dare I say that this is her "calling"! She really really enjoyed ballet. I think she enjoyed that something special belonged to her. Ballet was cute and it was a great 'get your feet wet' in an extra curricular activity. But she wakes up the morning of gymnastics day and is beaming all day, waiting for her class. Eric and I decided we're going to let her stick with it since she enjoys it so much.

Benson ended the school year with awesome grades. Benson also finished out another soccer season with Eric as his coach! This was Eric's first time being a head coach and he did such a great job. We couldn't have asked for a better group of boys to mesh well together so early in their season. With Benson's passion for soccer increasing, we took a chance at him trying out for the Academy (read: traveling) league. And what do you know? He made it!! There is a lot of commitment involved, both time and financially. We ultimately left the decision up to Benson and if he was willing to commit to practicing more and harder. We were willing to support him and make our schedule work if he was willing to commit. After a lot of thought, he accepted the offer and we are set to play this fall! We just got his jersey number and it's 25, same as my dad when he played soccer! So cool to pay a little homage to his grandpa! We couldn't be more proud of the young man Benson is growing into. He has really stepped up in our household, being more responsible and helping out more with his sister. I am really excited to see the dynamics of my children when baby 3 gets here!

Eric and I just had this discussion over dinner last night, but we are expecting to have a very very busy fall. It will take a lot of effort on our part to keep connected with each other with how much we will be a part! Starting in August, both kids will be in school. (Amelia starts pre-k!) Eric starts his night classes again, twice a week. Benson's academy training will begin, practicing twice a week and games on Saturday, potentially Sundays too! Amelia will have gymnastics once a week. AND we will be having a newborn to add to all the chaos!! I'm planning on taking a long maternity leave to soak in the fruits of my labor but once I start working again, it's on like donkey kong! 

 Eric and I end almost every night, laying in bed talking about all the things our kids did or said, talking about how much we love them. Pregnant, emotional me is crying at this sap ass shit!! Ha! I really feel like we're starting to live the life we've always dreamed of. There is nowhere else I'd rather be than running around after a long day of work to watch my kids do the things they love to do all the meanwhile enjoying it with "my person." (Grey's Anatomy reference) This is it people. I am here. I've made it. I am so lucky to live this life I live, making memories with the people I love.

If you've made it this far, bless you. Until next time, I'll leave you with some pictures from our last photo session!

 

Unplugged

Hope everyone is doing well. We've been busy busy running around. Lots of celebrations - weddings, birthdays and babyshowers. The kids keep us on our toes at home.

 I've taken a little social media hiatus, if you will.  Initially, this began as a wager for reaching my weight loss goals. Extreme, I know. But I really needed that motivation to get me going. I'm now two weeks deep and I'd have to say it's been very refreshing. I'm more present in the moment.  I'm engaged in all my relationships with the people around me. Who knows how long it'll last or if I'll ever come back. For now, I'm just enjoying the fruits of my labor.

Weekend Recap: Big Canoe

We rented a cabin in Big Canoe at the top of the mountain with some friends this past weekend. Turns out it was one of the best weekends ever!!

Needless to say, we spent a majority of it drunk. The babes stayed with my parents and we were off throwing it back to our younger days, playing beer pong, flip cup, cards against humanity, karaoke, piñata... I mean, was there a game we didn't play? Probably not. 

Lots of fun was had as we celebrated the upcoming wedding of our friends. The house we stayed at was a complete dream, not to mention the view out the back porch. To die for! Unfortunately the weather sucked and we stayed indoors but we most certainly made the best of it.

Eric and I rushed home to our sweet little people and spent Sunday doing our normal weekly prep. (Laundry, grocery shopped, cleaning) Now that Benson's back in school, we've had the hardest time readjusting to routine. It's hard sending him to bed when there's still light out! 

It was a nice break away from our everyday. Eric and I got to connect with other people and reconnect with each other. It's unreal how much that can do for the relationships in your life. Hope you all had a great weekend. Here's to hoping this week flies by so we can do some more relaxing! 

Summer Vacay 2014 - Panama City Beach

Our family took our second trip of the year to spend some time at the beach. Looking back at all my pictures makes it that much harder to be back to our normal everyday. 

We had a blast! The kids played all day at the beach. So thankful we got a beach front condo. It made naptime and bathroom runs so easy. We were able to leave our stuff to run up for lunch/naps and then we were back at it. Those 5 says flew by way too fast. I'm already counting down to our next trip!

We got to watch fireworks right on the beach. On top of the show the city puts on, it seems like everyone on the beach splurged and bought their own. I had to go mama bear crazy on some reckless teens who lit some way too close. I'm sure they'll never think about doing that again. Benson loves fireworks. Something about boys and fire. So he was all for being up close and front row. Amelia wasn't scared in the least bit and really enjoyed "ooh-ing" and "ahh-ing" at all the pretty colors. We danced in the sand to some reggae then went up to our room and binged on junk food. Just the perfect night. 

Night Terrors

Let me preface this by saying that Amelia has always been a horrible sleeper. Things have gotten much better (and I say better because she's only getting up once a night as opposed to several times a night) the older she's gotten. But, the last couple of nights have been miserable. I don't know what the issue was, but she'd wake up screaming for what seemed like all night. Inconsolable, whimpering, sobbing, hyperventilating. I didn't know what to do or how to help. So at her 2 year check up, I mentioned the past couple of nights and our peds (freaking love her) knew exactly what was going on. Night terrors.

She said that when children get overstimulated and crash into a deep sleep, they skip a sleep stage and head straight into a type of REM mode. Definitely true because we had been staying up way too late. But hey, it's summertime! To fix this, she suggested waking Amelia about an hour after she's fallen asleep. Not fully awake, but enough to make her readjust, toss/turn, and this will make her start her sleep cycle over. So we did this last night, and voila! She slept through the whole night. Can I get a 'hell yeah!' ??

Happy hump day! Only a couple more days until the weekend! We've got another busy weekend ahead of us. I'll leave with some pictures I coincidentally took of Eric and Amelia sleeping over the last 2 years. I'll have to remember to do this every year!

Newborn

One year old

Two years old. (Check out all the hair in this picture!)